How the Enneagram Helped Me
One evening, while going through a very difficult time in my life, I called out to God for relief. In my despair I broke, unable to carry the weight of my suffering anymore, and I reached out to Him to take it away. In the most sincerest of cries, I stated, “My heart is ready to come home”, a recognition of and surrender to my resistance to His participation in my life. This was not a cry for death or some suicidal impulse; it was a cry for life and a longing to truly live.
While exploring the psychology section at a bookstore, this orange book with a strange symbol, entitled Personalty Types, got my attention. Within five minutes of skimming the book, I found my type. As I read the description, I began to cry. What I read was not some list of traits but a description of my interior life—what it felt like to be in my skin.
Two things occurred to me in that moment. First, there is a reason I feel the way I do, and second, if I am one of these personality types, there are millions of others in this world who feel the same way I do. These two realizations challenged how I had always perceived myself—as terminally unique, and completely and utterly alone on this planet.
Needless to say, that book came home with me.
The Enneagram is a map of the psyche. It is powerful because it not only describes the predicament personality, or the ego, creates in us, but also illuminates the way out.
As a Type Four, I believed that if I could just find the primary event that screwed me up, I could fix it and be healed. But as the Enneagram illuminated, this tendency just put me into an endless loop of self-absorption. For other Types introspection is a needed element, but for Fours, it’s like throwing water on a drowning man. The path for my healing and growth is to engage the world and apply myself in practical and purposeful ways.
"We are spiritual beings having a human experience"
Pierre de Chardin
On a spiritual level, the Enneagram brought me into deeper relationship with God. The Enneagram allows us to loosen the hold of our human ego, giving space for our spiritual nature to blossom. Understanding, compassion, and acceptance of life and others has expanded, allowing what Jesus commanded, “Love thy neighbor as thyself”.
Through the Enneagram my heart has come home. I found healing of my emotional pain, meaning and purpose in my life, deep connection with others, and an intense heart connection with God—everything I cried out for that evening.
As a therapist, I use the Enneagram with my clients. It allows us to work with how our personality is creating difficulties and to move beyond its limitations. The Enneagram provides quick and powerful transformation.
I so believe in the healing power of the Enneagram, to heal not only ourselves but the world as a whole. I invite you to learn more and see how the Enneagram can help you.